


sol and luna

by atzfilms



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Tragedy, but then he regrets everything, cliche as fuck but you know the drill, hongjoong is an outcast, joong gets mistreated a lot, kinda inspired by the society, seonghwa doesn’t care at first, seonghwa is a son of a high class family, seongjoong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23121589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atzfilms/pseuds/atzfilms
Summary: a pariah named hongjoong decided to keep a diary to write his unsaid words for seonghwa, a popular jock from a high class family.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Kudos: 17





	1. DAY ONE

03/01/17

dear hwa,

sun is the brightest star of all, so are you.

who would’ve thought that park seonghwa, KQU’s most popular jock, was my childhood friend before. 

funny, right? you were my bestfriend, not until i was declared an outcast by the leaders of our society.

have you seen yourself on the mirror? if yes, aren’t you the prettiest boy who exists in school?

you’re smart, generous and kind, no wonder girls and boys like you.

but you see, i wasn’t like any other people who like you. i love you, ever since we were still bestfriends. 

you maybe thought how stupid i am to fall in love with you even though i know you will never feel the same way like i do. but let me be, for once.

god knows how i wanted to be friends with you again but pariahs are not allowed to talk to people unless if they are also outcasts. sucks to be me, i guess. 

today, i decided to make a diary to keep myself and my thoughts organized. but this diary mainly talks about you, hwa. maybe one day, i’d be able to send this and tell how i feel about you.

yikes, i know it’s impossible. but maybe, maybe. 

that’s all for now. i’ll write again tomorrow. 

i love you, hwa ! 

\- k.hj, a pariah


	2. DAY TWO

03/02/17

dear hwa,

i saw you today with your friends. i swear you look so stunning today- no, every single day.

you look so fine, as if you didn’t have any problems with the environment around you. you live a perfect life, and i envy you with that.

you know hwa, pariahs are getting punished for nothing. it’s getting worse and worse everyday and i am sick of it. i silently pray that they will stop doing it to satisfy their sick sadistic sides.

you should be thankful for being born in a high class family, hwa. you get a lot of privileges, you have a shelter to stay and food to eat everyday, you have your friends and family who’re always there for you. unlike us, all we get are punishments from the leaders of our society.

for you, do you think we deserve to be in a low class family? to be treated like things? animals? to get beaten as if it’s nothing? we suffered a lot, our food is not enough for us and we’ll most likely to beg for food next week.

i felt like giving up but i still have the other pariahs to care for.

i felt like giving up but i couldn’t because of you, hwa. my delusional self still hopes to be reunited with you again. i’ll let myself endure the pain and live longer just to see you everyday.

your happiness makes me happy too. you’re a life saver, you know? because of you, i’m still thriving. you’re my only hope, so please don’t change.

i love you, hwa. i hope you know that.

i’ll be strong for you.

\- k.hj, a hopeless romantic pariah.


	3. DAY THREE

03/03/17

dear hwa,

the world can’t shine brighter without the sun, so is my world without you, hwa.

i’ve realized that we represent the sun and moon.

wanna know why you represent the sun? because you shine the brightest. everyone loves sunny days right? so are the people around you. you’re so warm and beautiful yet dangerous to look at (for us because we are not allowed to stare at the high class people).

now, you wanna know why i represent the moon? because i only shine when there aren’t people around me. i am ugly and no one wants to be in the dark, no one wants to be with me.

i hope someday, we’ll reunite again like an eclipse. 

but sadly, you are my sol and i am your luna. we are fated by the universe, but we’ve been kept away from each other.

\- k.hj, a hopeless romantic pariah


	4. DAY FOUR

03/04/17

yeosang said he misses you so much. do you still remember him? he was the shy little kid we helped back then when he got lost in the woods. it turned out his parents were killed by the leaders and he ran to save his life. pretty tragic, right?

i don’t know if you still remember the kids who you used to be friends with before. we were happy as eight back then, but you decided to put a wall against us. 

don’t worry, hwa. we’re not angry at you... we’re just disappointed and upset i guess? you dumped us over those boys who bully us every single day. one time, i saw them throwing some stones at wooyoung. i was so mad at them but i couldn’t do anything neither wooyoung. 

you were our knight in shining armor in this society full of ignorant and judgemental people but you turned your back around us. please don’t change completely, hwa. you are our last and only hope. 

the boys want you to come back, including me. please hwa, stay away from those entitled people. they are brainwashing you. 

we can’t fight back or else we’ll get killed.

so please fight them for us.

\- k.hj, your former bestfriend


	5. DAY FIVE

03/05/17

dear hwa, 

your father likes hurting us huh.

i don’t know if what’s wrong with your father, hwa. he was not like that before. he used to care for us but now he became one of the leaders, he became heartless.

do you agree, hwa? do you hate it when your father hurts the pariahs? 

well, who am i to force you to hate your father. he’s your role model right? i remember back when we were in 5th grade, you talked about him a lot. saying that you look up to him and you wished to be him someday. i hope you won’t become as heartless as him, hwa.

please tell your father to stop hurting us as if we’re just non-living things who can’t feel pain when hitting us with sticks and stones. jongho got serious injuries from it but instead of receiving sympathy, he got humiliated by them. 

they are sick hwa, how can they laugh at jongho‘s state because of what they’ve done?!  he needs to rest but he couldn’t because we will be punished if one of the pariahs won’t come to school. 

life is treating us unfairly, but we won’t stop until we get our freedom.

and the freedom is in your hands, hwa. please help us reach the freedom we deserve, we are _begging_ you.

\- k.hj, your old bestfriend


	6. DAY SIX

dear hwa,

it hurts.

you only walked past by me when our schoolmates bullied me. 

it hurts seeing you walking away without helping me... did you already forget all the memories we’ve had? 

they threw ketchup and mustard at me, yet you only ignored me as if i deserve to be bullied by them.

or maybe you just walked away because you don’t want to ruin your reputation. your reputation as the son of a leader.

or maybe it’s my fault for expecting too much. i still expect that maybe one day you’ll be able to defend us from them, but i guess i was wrong.

i’m sorry if i expected a lot from you, hwa. 

i guess i should stop asking for help from you

i should stop forcing you to defend us

but instead i shall stand up again and try my very best to protect the pariahs all by myself

because they are my family.

\- k.hj, a pariah


End file.
